Man In The Mirror
by myflyingbroomstick
Summary: A little oneshot born out of frustration with a common and very wrong fanon theory, which turned into this little funny and somewhat crack-y fic. A ghost appears in Dumbledore's bedroom one night to confront him with "his" wrongdoings. The results are not what the ghost expects.


A/N: A little oneshot just because I feel like being petty today, me weaving a point into story form. I am getting tired as fuck of people blaming Dumbledore for Voldemort becoming evil, it's one of the things that pisses me off the most when it's most assuredly not his fault. It's totally unfair to blame somebody for somebody else's fucking choices, but the fandom is so eager to vilify Dumbledore that they'll accuse him of anything. But frustration is so easy to weave into humor, which gave me this little masterpiece right there.

Disclaimer: The characters and HP belong to the fabulous JK Rowling, I'm just playing in the sandbox.

 **Man In The Mirror**

"Dumbledore." The old man blearily opened his eyes , scanning the darkened room for the source of the sound, turning his head. When he couldn't find it he yawned and made to return to his sleep.

"Dumbledore, don't you ignore me!" that voice pierced the silence again. Dumbledore groaned and ran a hand over his face, snapping his fingers as the lights turned on filling the room with a soft golden glow and sat up, coming face to face with a ghost. A black-robed ghost at that, with waxy white skin and chilling red eyes, staring directly into the older wizard's blue ones. If it weren't for the fact he was see through, Albus wouldn't have known it was a ghost.

"Hello Tom. Taking to haunting my doorways now are you?" Dumbledore yawned behind his hand, looking uninterestedly into those cold ruby eyes. The ghost snarled at him.

"I am no dream Albus Dumbledore, this is real!" he shrieked in what was supposed to be a threatening voice. "Well DUH, of course this is real. I shan't like to think that I'd dream of _you_ of all people now would I?" Albus said cheerily, crossing his legs under his red night-robes and sitting on the edge of the bed, giving Tom that infuriatingly placid look. "Tea?" he offered, conjuring a steaming cup out of midair. Voldemort glared and swiped it out of his hand, smashing it on the violently purple walls. "I just cleaned that." Dumbledore said crisply, waving his wand and cleaning it instantly before turning back to his nocturnal guest. "Okay Tom, what do you want? I haven't all night." he said in almost a bored tone of voice.

"Don't you see old man?! I am your worst nightmare! Behold, gaze upon the monster that you have created!" he said, gesturing to himself. "I created?" Dumbledore tilted his head as if gazing upon an interesting science experiment. "Yes, YOU! You are the one who is responsible for Voldemort! I am the way I am because of you!" he cried.

"Oh really? How so? Last time I checked I am not the one with the power over the minds of men. But do go on, tell me more." Albus looked like his favorite program had just come on, Voldemort swooped toward him and looked down upon him threateningly but that annoying smile stayed fixed in place. "Well first off old man, you treated me horribly! You treated me like garbage!"

"Did I? I seem to recall that I merely introduced you to Hogwarts, that is all as it was then my job as Deputy Headmaster to do. Our interactions seem very few and far in between, or my brain may be a little fuzzy due to age I'm afraid. I interacted with you like I did all of my students, as far as I remember. Tell me Tom, did I ever bully you?" 

"Well..no, but!"  
"Threaten you?"  
"No! But..."

"Unfairly punish you?"  
"You did not, but that doesn'...!"

"Humiliate you, abuse you or torment you in any way? Did I even have much physical contact with or speak to you in all of those years?"  
"That doesn't matter!" 

"Answer. The. Question. Tom. Did I?"  
"NO!"

"Well then!" Albus said in that airy tone of his. "I guess this conversation is over, I didn't mistreat you Tom, far from it. Now if you'll allow me to go back to bed, I'm really tired."

"You bastard! You sent me back to that horrible orphanage!" the ghost said, trying to strangle him but being unable to since his hands kept going through Albus' neck rather than choking him. Dumbledore didn't even flinch, instead his blue eyes looked up with a childlike curiosity.

"I assure you Tom, I was not Headmaster yet my boy. So in that respect I was not the one who sent you back there. The orphanage was horrible you say? Funny, the one time I visited I was quite unaware of such a thing. Did they abuse you?" Dumbledore asked, sipping a newly conjured cup of tea.

"Well, no but...!" "Did they beat you my boy?" Dumbledore asked placidly.

"No."

"Starve you?"

"No." Voldemort said, gritting his teeth.

"Sexually abuse you?"  
"They did not."

"Mentally abuse you?"  
"No." 

"Ah, so things weren't so bad after all. If anything you were the one abusing the orphanage Tom. Remember those poor unfortunate children that you tortured? Nobody made you do that now did they?"

Voldemort growled in anger. "That doesn't matter! You're still responsible for me Albus! You MADE me!" he said threateningly, hoping to make Dumbledore pained or ashamed or angry but he was neither of those fact he just looked tired and bored.

"Yada, yada, yada. Honestly Tom. The only one who MADE you is yourself. You cannot blame me nor anybody else for what you've done." he shook his head before looking up, striding toward the ghost rather like a father scolding a rather naughty child, even Voldemort felt a tiny bit embarrassed.

"Were you under Imperius Tom?" Dumbledore asked placidly. "No." Voldemort muttered. "Did anybody _make_ you kill any of the people that you killed? Did they _make_ you make a Horcrux? Did they _make_ you torture people and murder Muggles? Did anybody MAKE you do any of that?"

"No." Voldemort said hollowly. "Right." Dumbledore yawned, stretching before turning back to his bed, crawling inside. "Now you can show yourself out, I have a hair appointment tomorrow at six and I'd prefer to be well rested for that. Seriously, my split ends have gotten out of control since last month, I hadn't the time to see to them since _somebody_ decided to be a naughty boy and cause such a mess, _on his own_. If you want to blame anybody for your appalling behavior I suggest you look at the man in the mirror." Dumbledore said with a stern, chastising look at the ghost standing before him. "Goodnight now Tom, I need some sleep." Dumbledore clapped again and the lights turned out, pulling the blankets up to his chin before snuggling into them and drifting off within seconds, leaving a stunned Voldemort alone with his thoughts. He stared at the figure in the bed before finally disappearing. 


End file.
